let a little light in

Did I ever tell you that my comp has to sleep with the blinds open. She doesn't like total darkness. In fact she can't handle total darkness. she takes comfort in the flashing green light of the neighboring pharmacy. (that's right. Pharmacies here have flashing neon lights like it's a bar or something. weird) And at first that flashing green light made me crazy. but now, when i wake up from my crazy dreams, i have that stability. I know that light is alwasy there. Always flashing. Always begging passerbyes to come in and buy some arthritis cream. And so my frantic moments of disorentation are calmed by neon green.

I let you make the gospel analogy.

It's been a better week. Honestly. Did my city change? Nope. Did my comp get transfered. Nope. It's all in my head. My beter week comes from my better attitude. I noticed that i wasn't having any fun. And what good is living in France where no one knows you with out having a little fun. so I told the green light one 3:00 hour that I need to lighten up. what's my problem? why am I not having fun? I'm a fun person. And he flashed back in the morris code of 3:00am nonsense that I need a little light. and some arthritis cream. And honestly, Both work.

So, no longer am i affected by outside influences. my world is centered on the Creator of Worlds. and it's working for me. Not that my bubble is getting thinker but it's power to filter is multiplying.

Dec6 Tuesday: Girls night out with Lena and Sylvine. Seeing a couple so in love that the stopped and danced to imaginary music on the corner just holding each other like there wasn't 10 million people walking around them. Meeting a Jamacin lady in france that already knew the missionaries. She wants to hang out again.

Dec 7 Wednesday: Searching for the perfect christmas tree for one christmas obsessed elder and shoving it into a tiny tiny eurocar. tree, missionarries and all. Spending time with a strong woman raising 3 kids on faith. Having a real conversation with Sandrine, a woman trying to take her life in her hands by placing it in the lords. It was good.

Dec 8 Thursday: Talking to Sr Johnson my old comp. My old friends from Toulouse are really really doing great. Stephanie even got baptised! What????? There was a split moment of self pity but all is well in zion. Sr Maloen gave us chocolate fondue. You have got to eat this stuff. Teaching english with the elders. I laughed so hard i thought i was breaking a rule or something. It was just sooo fun. It felt good really good. Laughing always makes you feel better. Even if it starts out small.

Dec 9, Friday: Teaching Sandrine how to fight the war with Satan by putting on the armor of God. We had homemade tin foil swords and everything. President called me jsut to hear my voice. Weird. A 7 yr old request to sing the first noel. he sang off pitch in my ear. it was glorious.

Dec 10 Saturday: The bus stop destination beau soleil. Destination beautiful sunshine. Perfect huh? Dancing the boot scootin boogie with 12 other missionaries for a ward party. matching sweaters. Laughign and sneeking an extra gout of brioche from the desert table with a 13 year old girl.

Dec 11, Sunday: Standing alone on the train after a hard day of bothering people. and then talking to a girl about christmas shopping. She invited me to spend christmas with her after 5 minutes of conversation. Thanks Dawn. Really.

Dec 12 Monday: Eating potato and bacon Dominoes pizza. Yummy. Taking baby steps with Sandrine after a scary weekend of fear. She needs a little light.

Let a little light in this week. Meet people named Dawn on the train. Read the book Believe Christ. and buy arthritis cream.

Love Shai

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